How thin is too thin?

 This post probably isn't what you are thinking, especially if you know me. There's not many things that are thin about me. It is however a post I am sure many Mommy bloggers have posted. I know I have read a few in the past year or so.
 Lately I have been feeling thin, as in spread too thinly across the board.
I am so many things; wife, mother, teacher, daughter, sister, friend, chicken raiser, butler, maid, cook, chauffeur, and so on and so on. I love all of my roles, I really do! But man is it tiring and it leaves me very little time for me to just be me. As well as leaving me very little time for me to rest so that I can do it all again the next day.
The newest roll that takes the most time is new mommy. Monte is only 6 months old and he is a great baby. But he is also a very demanding baby. He is definitely getting better but for about 2 months the kid just screamed all day long. And it wasn't his first two months either, it was from age 4-6 months. He's just recently started to calm down. He wasn't always hungry, or tired, or bored. He just wanted me to hold him but I had to be standing. Which I absolutely  love doing, but that kid is dang tank! He weighs so much and I have a pretty weak back, this is not a good combo. Not to mention it's hard to wrangle Rudy, teach and cook when I am holding the wiggle worm. The nice thing now is that because he is such a wiggle worm he really enjoys being on the floor playing with Rudy. But man was it hard the last few months. I wanted to throw in the towel so many times and just be done with everything. I craved sitting on the recliner with the baby just rocking and nursing and snuggling and bonding with my baby, throwing all other responsibilities out the window. But when you decide to be a mommy, and a then decide to be a mommy to more then just one kid, sitting and ignoring everything is so not an option. I signed up to be there everyday for these 4 cutie patooties and that's what  I will do.
I lied earlier, I don't love every role that I have. I am not a big fan of the cook, or maid parts, haha. Who is? So the cooking and cleaning did get ignored and in all honesty they are still being ignored. Some days even the school work and getting dressed part of the day get ignored as well. We all need a break every now and then and when we all end up in tears, those are the days! But I will never just sit and ignore the kids, they are my first and most important role, besides wife of course.
 Holding myself together is no easy task, apparently I am more high maintenance and needy then I thought I was and I am sure more then my hubby ever thought I was. I don't require fancy make-up and clothing, although I do have a soft spot for accessories and all things crafty. I am learning that I am emotionally needy.
I need help and I need it every day. I need help with the house, I need help with the kids, I need help with teaching, I need help with keeping the peace. Does this mean that I am weak? H-no! It means that I am strong enough to admit that I need help and that I am strong enough to continue everyday even when I have no desire, patience, strength, or will power to do it, I figure out how to do it.
 Poor Ki Ki gets way more grumpy texts then he should in a day, and I hate doing that to him but being married means being an outlet for the other right? I know I am his outlet and I love that he confides in me knowing that I can't help him every time. I can't go to work with him and tell everyone to leave him alone so he can do the first project they asked him to do before they start asking him to do another. Just like he can't be home all day to wrestle the boys so I can teach the girls. Or make lunch while I nurse Monte.
 So how thin is too thin? Well everyday I spread myself too thin, until I take a step back and realize not everything needs to get done today. It is a really hard thing to come to terms with but when I relax and let go, everything seems to go smoother and things get done easier. So I don't want to be thin anymore, I would rather be thick.
With the help of my hubby who is beyond amazing and will come home and do our dishes, or make dinner, or help the girls with school I never have to be spread too thin. We can do it, we may not be able to do it all, but we can do more then enough.
In about 2 months we will be celebrating our 10 year anniversary! It sounds so crazy to have been married THAT long, but we have built an amazing life and a beautiful family. We have been busy trying to stay focused on our family, like we always hoped and planned to do. It seems like we haven't been married long enough. Not that we want time to go any faster, I'd prefer it to go a lot slower in all honesty.
I used to think about the day we would celebrate our 10 year anniversary and how exciting  it would be, but now it almost seems sad. Don't get me wrong I can't wait to celebrate and go on a big fancy date, but I hate that we have already marked off 10 years. I'm high maintenance, selfish,  and needy and want to not be 10 years into life but 3, but I want everything, (not material things but values and experience) and everyone we have now. We have eternity together which is the best feeling in the world, but I still don't everything going so fast. I feel like I am still figuring everything out and if we keep going so fast then we will never enjoy the things we want to enjoy. I am afraid that no matter what I say or type or believe, we will have days that we are spread way to thin, but hopefully with some prayer and humility we can get through and find the light in everyday.

Silly Saturday's and Sick Sunday's

We were out and about most of the day on Saturday so that was nice. There was a butterfly festival in Huntsville that we went to, we were a bit late so we only got to see one butterfly released. It was an ok festival but not what I expected. I didn't take many pictures since we were only there for like 45 minutes, lol. But here are 2. 

You can totally tell where we are huh? Lol. The girls got their face painted and did some crafts while Rudy played with bubbles. After that we left. Like I said, it wasn't very big. But the kids had fun. 

From the festival we went to the library for some books for our school lessons for the week. This weeks are studying geography and the kids are going to each study a country. Rae chose Turkey, her reason why? Because it's close to Thanksgiving, haha. 

Bea chose Mexico because that's where Daddy went on his mission and she's Mexican too!

We love going to the library, especially Rudy, and especially when daddy comes with us. He always finds the best books. 

Once we left the library we headed home for a rest before we went swimming. Then we had dinner and carved some pumpkins. 

Ki did Mufasa. 

Rae did a jack o lantern

Bea did Rapunzel

I was busy with cranky boys to really carve mine. But I was able to hollow it, or at least most of it. And check out what I found!

 Seeds that are already growing. Bea calls them punklits. I told her that's my new name for her and her siblings, lol. 

By the time we were done it was around 10:30 at night. Way past bedtime, so bedtime was pretty easy. Rudy even tucked himself in and was waiting for me in his bed. 

Sunday:

A few of our little ones were sick on Sunday, I think the late night contributed a lot to speeding up the sickness process. 

So Sunday came and we decided it was a pj day. We sat around as a family and watched some movies and silly shows. Took medicine and rested. 

We also planted our pumpkin seeds, we found quite a bit more while cleaning the seeds to get ready for baking. 

We played with play doh, she sculpted her daddy haha. 

And we snuggled. Aggressively so, lol. 

I swear Ki enjoys this more then he lets on. All he asked Rudy was, "are you peeing?"  It was pretty funny. 

That was our busy and relaxing weekend. Ki and I had a lot of fun with our cute kids, next weekend we are thinking well go hiking. (=

A Day in the Life of Mama (1)

 Monday wasn't really that bad, but it seemed to be pretty busy to me.
My van had to be taken back to the car shop because of course for whatever reason the stinking air conditioning went out again! This would be the third time in about 3 months, I am so ready for a new car. I love my van but it keeps leaving me high and dry. I guess more like wet with sweat!
We had to get the van to the shop but Rae also had a doctors appointment so we had to coordinate with Papa to meet us at the shop after the doctors appointment. The upside to when the van isn't working is that I get to drive Ki's big white truck, which I love! It's not easy to get the car seat in and out of when other people park really close to me, but I still love it.
Once we got the doctors office and filled out a bunch of annoying paper work, we got called back pretty quickly and the appointment itself didn't actually take very long, which is nice because it can be a real gamble on how long a doctor visit will take. We got a clean bill of health for miss Rae but she couldn't get her flu mist because they didn't reserve her one and they had run out. But Bea got hers since hers was a nurses visit...WHAAAAA?? Yeah I was mad and confused, but what are you going to do. I asked the doctor and he said when I come back for the boys well checks to schedule Rae as well and he will make sure that they will all get the flu mist/shot.
 Of course when I went out the receptionist to check out and schedule the kids for the appointments the receptionist said that she couldn't schedule 3 kids in a day like that. So I told her what the doctor said and that if she would like I could go back there and find him. She kind of rolled her eyes at me and then just made the appointments. I asked 3 more times as she was grumbling to herself   "and all three of my kids will get the flu vaccine when we come back? I'm just making sure because two of them were supposed to get it done today and only one got it." I know I was annoying her, but I don't think she understood how annoyed I was either. Oh well, a Mama has to do what a Mama has to do.
 We left the doctors and met Papa at the car shop to drop off the van. From there we stopped at the bank and came home. The kids and I got inside, had lunch, put the boys down for a nap and got to work on school. We are trying a new way of doing things, we are just doing one subject a week instead of all 8 subjects during the week. I'm hoping it will help us to learn more and stay focused. Plus each day will be a little shorter which will be nice and a little easier on the boys and me as well. Like I said before I worry that the boys don't get as much as my attention as they need since schooling takes so long.
Once we were done we had a fun movie date planned with some friends. We went and saw Hotel Transylvania 2, cute but not exactly a must see haha. But it was fun to catch up a bit with our friends who we hadn't seen in a while. Rudy did exceptionally well! He just sat and watched the movie which is not at all what I was expecting. I thought that Monte would fall asleep nursing and that I was going to have to chase Rudy up and down the isles. But he just sat there and ate all his sisters popcorn and drink, then came and sat by me to finish off my popcorn and drink, (the diapers to follow the next 2 days were not pretty).
Monte was actually the one that gave me a hard time. He has been super fussy lately and I'm not entirely sure why. I can't tell if he's going through a growth spurt so he's super hungry or if he's super tired from a growth spurt. But either way through half the movie I was standing and bouncing him, which is OK I guess since  I ate a ton of popcorn.
After the movie we came home had a late dinner of some yummy hamburgers and then got ready for bed. For some reason that day just seemed a little wild to me. But the next day didn't seem any less non-stop.
Days where we just keep going non stop like that seem to be hard but also can be great. It is very exhausting and for days after I want to just sit and watch TV, lol. But it is nice when we have crazy filled days because then we seem to get along better since we have no choice but to work together. Yes the kids get silly still and maybe sometimes out of control, and I'll snap every once in a while. But for the most part it turns out  great!
I love my kiddos and no matter how hard or emotional things get, I'll never stop. I'll never stop trying, I'll never stop getting up, I'll never stop fighting for them, and I'll never let them get less then what they deserve.
I'm not entirely sure where I was going with this post. I'm still getting used to blogging, but I promised the kids. (=

Faithful and True!

It can be hard to stay faithful. But it's always worth it! 

Hulk Strong!