How thin is too thin?

 This post probably isn't what you are thinking, especially if you know me. There's not many things that are thin about me. It is however a post I am sure many Mommy bloggers have posted. I know I have read a few in the past year or so.
 Lately I have been feeling thin, as in spread too thinly across the board.
I am so many things; wife, mother, teacher, daughter, sister, friend, chicken raiser, butler, maid, cook, chauffeur, and so on and so on. I love all of my roles, I really do! But man is it tiring and it leaves me very little time for me to just be me. As well as leaving me very little time for me to rest so that I can do it all again the next day.
The newest roll that takes the most time is new mommy. Monte is only 6 months old and he is a great baby. But he is also a very demanding baby. He is definitely getting better but for about 2 months the kid just screamed all day long. And it wasn't his first two months either, it was from age 4-6 months. He's just recently started to calm down. He wasn't always hungry, or tired, or bored. He just wanted me to hold him but I had to be standing. Which I absolutely  love doing, but that kid is dang tank! He weighs so much and I have a pretty weak back, this is not a good combo. Not to mention it's hard to wrangle Rudy, teach and cook when I am holding the wiggle worm. The nice thing now is that because he is such a wiggle worm he really enjoys being on the floor playing with Rudy. But man was it hard the last few months. I wanted to throw in the towel so many times and just be done with everything. I craved sitting on the recliner with the baby just rocking and nursing and snuggling and bonding with my baby, throwing all other responsibilities out the window. But when you decide to be a mommy, and a then decide to be a mommy to more then just one kid, sitting and ignoring everything is so not an option. I signed up to be there everyday for these 4 cutie patooties and that's what  I will do.
I lied earlier, I don't love every role that I have. I am not a big fan of the cook, or maid parts, haha. Who is? So the cooking and cleaning did get ignored and in all honesty they are still being ignored. Some days even the school work and getting dressed part of the day get ignored as well. We all need a break every now and then and when we all end up in tears, those are the days! But I will never just sit and ignore the kids, they are my first and most important role, besides wife of course.
 Holding myself together is no easy task, apparently I am more high maintenance and needy then I thought I was and I am sure more then my hubby ever thought I was. I don't require fancy make-up and clothing, although I do have a soft spot for accessories and all things crafty. I am learning that I am emotionally needy.
I need help and I need it every day. I need help with the house, I need help with the kids, I need help with teaching, I need help with keeping the peace. Does this mean that I am weak? H-no! It means that I am strong enough to admit that I need help and that I am strong enough to continue everyday even when I have no desire, patience, strength, or will power to do it, I figure out how to do it.
 Poor Ki Ki gets way more grumpy texts then he should in a day, and I hate doing that to him but being married means being an outlet for the other right? I know I am his outlet and I love that he confides in me knowing that I can't help him every time. I can't go to work with him and tell everyone to leave him alone so he can do the first project they asked him to do before they start asking him to do another. Just like he can't be home all day to wrestle the boys so I can teach the girls. Or make lunch while I nurse Monte.
 So how thin is too thin? Well everyday I spread myself too thin, until I take a step back and realize not everything needs to get done today. It is a really hard thing to come to terms with but when I relax and let go, everything seems to go smoother and things get done easier. So I don't want to be thin anymore, I would rather be thick.
With the help of my hubby who is beyond amazing and will come home and do our dishes, or make dinner, or help the girls with school I never have to be spread too thin. We can do it, we may not be able to do it all, but we can do more then enough.
In about 2 months we will be celebrating our 10 year anniversary! It sounds so crazy to have been married THAT long, but we have built an amazing life and a beautiful family. We have been busy trying to stay focused on our family, like we always hoped and planned to do. It seems like we haven't been married long enough. Not that we want time to go any faster, I'd prefer it to go a lot slower in all honesty.
I used to think about the day we would celebrate our 10 year anniversary and how exciting  it would be, but now it almost seems sad. Don't get me wrong I can't wait to celebrate and go on a big fancy date, but I hate that we have already marked off 10 years. I'm high maintenance, selfish,  and needy and want to not be 10 years into life but 3, but I want everything, (not material things but values and experience) and everyone we have now. We have eternity together which is the best feeling in the world, but I still don't everything going so fast. I feel like I am still figuring everything out and if we keep going so fast then we will never enjoy the things we want to enjoy. I am afraid that no matter what I say or type or believe, we will have days that we are spread way to thin, but hopefully with some prayer and humility we can get through and find the light in everyday.