Worry Wart AKA being a parent

If you are a parent you understand the title to my post today. As a parent you worry about countless things:

Are they eating right?

Are you teaching them enough?

Are they nice and respectful when they aren't at home?

Are they safe when they aren't at home?

Are they safe when they are in the yard playing in the dirt?

Do you spoil them too much?

Do you punish them too much?

Are they happy?

The list is seriously endless, and the worry will never subside. Even though my girls are only 5 and 3, I know this for a fact because my sister's 3 oldest are adults now and she still worries about them. My mom in law who I share land with still worries about her 8 children. Even us, though we live 30 seconds away! 

The list  I made are in no special order but they were the first ones that came to my head. 

Being that my girls are only 5 and 3, and yes I know I am not an expert at parenting only having 5 yrs max under my belt, the last three reasons are the ones that I think about the most! Are they too spoiled, are they happy, and do I punish them too much? 

Today was a bit of a hard day. My Bea-Bea was very much a handful, and Rae had a few moments herself. I felt like most of the day I was screaming, trying not to scream, putting kids in time-out, taking deep breaths, and trying to explain to the girls that they need to listen to me and behave or they on't get to go to the library. Well we didn't go to the library. )= 

My worry and fear is that my girls are going to remember these days and that all they did was get in trouble and stay in time out all day. I know it sounds so completely silly, but it's my fear. I know that a lot of my memories are of being in trouble, getting spanked, hit and yelled at.

I really try to not spank my girls, especially since  I have learned that making them stand in a corner with their nose in the corner is basically the worse torture to them. But I have to admit that I have slipped and I have spanked them a few times.

It's hard for me when that's how I grew up. The crazy thing is, is that I was only spanked and punished and really only had rules until I was about 8. After that my mom kind of just let the reins go. I was able to do and say, and go wherever and whatever I wanted. 

I don't want to parent like my mom, and I don't want to parent like anyone, I want to parent to my kids needs. I am just afraid and nervous that I am going to screw them up royally. 

I don't know why I am afraid of hurting my kids, I know that the mother always gets blamed for the kid being screwed up. But I really don't want that. I know that a lot of people have that fear and that all moms have the same worry. I just know that i really did have hard childhood and I really don't want my kids to think that they have/had a hard childhood. 

So I totally had a real point to this post, but now that I have written it, I realize I am just blabbing about a whole lot of nothing, really. 

I know that I am a good mother and that  I don't hurt my children, I know that they love me and that they know that I love them. I'm sorry that most of this post is just gibberish but I had to get it out! 

I don't know how many people actually read my blog, but  I do know that for me, it's becoming a real stress reliever. I hope that my husband knows that I couldn't without him and that he is the rock in our family!

Thanks all,

Tina 

Grawe Girl Day

Today was a girl day. I went to the dentist this morning and then had Auntie Nali and the girls meet me at the car shop to drop off Papa's car. I figured while we were in the area we should head over to the mall and make a fun day out of it! Rae has been asking to go to the mall because she loves the tree play area.
Anyway, after we left the car shop, we headed to Uncle Bart and Aunt Nan's house to pick up Ki's blanket. His Grandma from Alaska had made the blanket for him and it started to rip, so Aunt Nan said that she could fix it for him. It was a lot of fun to catch up with our stand in Grand-Grandma and Grandpa. Bart and Nan are seriously the greatest and nicest people. They have such big hearts and they are always willing to spend time with family. They got a new little puppy named Nina, and she is a tiny little chihuahua-wiener.
After a great visit with family we went to the mall and had a blast. We walked around, had lunch, played, bought some new clothes for the girls and just had fun.

I am starting to think that I need to spend some more one on one time with Raeanna. Soon she is going to be starting kindergarten and I want her to know that I am proud of her and I love her, that I love spending time with her and that she means so much to me.
Once Rae starts school, Bea and I are going to have so much alone time. It's going to be great and I am excited and nervous at the same time. She is a very demanding little girl when it comes to attention, and everything. So beginning alone with her can either be good for her, or bad for her. But we shall see what will happen.
If you can't tell I am nervous for Rae to start school even tho it's not until the fall! I'm a spaz and I'm sure you all know that.


I tried to take some fun pictures of the girls but Bea is not very cooperative at all!
But here are the pictures. They are getting so big and it makes me sad.

I do not know why I can't get the first 2 pictures to flip, but there they are anyway. Like I said Bea wasn't in the mood. As for Rae, she is always in the mood to get her picture taken. She's such a silly.
Love to all,
Rae, Bea, and Tina (Nali too)